You know what most people hate about subjectivity? "It doesn't match MY subjectivity!"

While perusing the anarchic wasteland known as Reddit, I happened upon a map of Minnesota's "real" 6 regions. Let's have ourselves a fight look!

The 6 Real Regions of Minnesota

Credit: Via CodieMaps
Credit: Via CodieMaps

From the Probably Human who came up with this: "This is a completely subjective dasymetric map showing how I have come to interpret the distinct social, political, and economic regions within the State of Minnesota. This map should be referenced any time you plan on traveling, relocating, or talking to any of the locals in Minnesota."

Those were definitely (allegedly) words. Let's make like MC Hammer after ripping off Rick James and "break it down".

God's Country

The largest section of the map (in terms of square mileage, not population) encompasses central, a wee bit of northern, and southwestern Minnesota. It includes St Cloud, Moorhead, and Brainerd (for some reason). The creator has deemed this the "God's Country" region of Minnesota.

The deciding factors?

  • rural farmland and strip mall towns (ha ha ouch)
  • highest concentration of pro-life and GOP billboards
  • Michelle Bachmann (ha ha ouch)

There are certainly a lot of town names that begin with "Saint", so that makes sense.

No Man's Land

Well that's not very nice: the creator couldn't even spell "Bemidji" correctly. It's no surprise that the region of Minnesota with this designation has the lowest population density in the state.

Southeast MN

Did the map creator run out of ideas to name regions? This easily could've been dubbed "The Mayo Region" or "Almost IoWiscoNois" (Iowa + Wisconsin + Illinois). If you want a little of this and a little of that...politically...this is your area. It also has the highest concentration of college towns, so there's lots of partying learning going on in-between partying.

Iron Range

A "Democrat stronghold"? HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *cough* Pete Stauber

As a most-of-my-life resident of the Iron Range, I can confirm that it has the highest concentration of snowmobile owners. Snowmobiles are those things we used to ride in the winter when there was snow on the ground. Snow is frozen flaky rain that used to come down between November and April. Rain is...

North Shore

Helloooooo, tourist traps. It's beautiful up there year-round, and the giant boats coming and going are neat.

The Metro

The region of Minnesota that the other 5 regions hate also has half of Minnesota's population, while managing to have the highest concentration of both wealth AND poverty. Overachievers.

How accurate is this map?

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