What If Dr. Seuss Wrote About Southern Minnesota?

On this very day in 1904, Theodor Seuss Geisel was born in Springfield, Mass. This child would grow up to be a writer, cartoonist, animator, publisher and the author best known as Dr. Seuss. Over the course of his life, he published more than 60 children's books as well as a few books for adults. My favorites were "The Sneetches and Other Stories," "The Cat in the Hat," "Red Fish, Blue Fish, One Fish, Two Fish" and of course, "Green Eggs and Ham." So in honor of what would be Dr. Seuss's 113th birthday, here's my condensed version of that beloved story, except my version is titled "Canned Beans and Spam."

Do you like canned beans and Spam?
I do not like canned beans and Spam.
Would you like them while playing darts?
Would you like them at the Paradise Center for the Arts?
Would you like them in a shoe?
Would you like them at the RAD Zoo?

Would you, could you with a hawk?
Would you, could you on Riverwalk?
Would you like them in the trees?
Would like them with Blue Cheese?
Would like them with an aardvark?
Would you like them at Mineral Springs Park?

Would you, could you on a dare?
Would you, could you in Bridge Square?
Would you like them with your cousin Jill?
Would you like them at the Woolen Mill?
Would you like them with an F-Town Beer?
Would you like them in the Village of Yesteryear?

Would you, could you in fancy garb?
Would you like them in the Arb?

I will try them and you will see,
That canned beans and Spam are not for me…

I was wrong, it’s clear to me,
That canned beans and Spam are a treat for me!